Eden Violet Birth Story

Pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant in November after conceiving around Halloween time ;) It was the first moment I felt truly open to welcoming another being into our family, and Eden flew right in!

My pregnancy started out pretty rough. I was extremely tired and doing all I could to push through the holiday madness. I found myself laid out on the couch for hours on end, unable to do much else. My mental health was also suffering a bit from my inability to function at my normal capacity.

Once the second trimester hit, I felt this hazy cloud around me lift and my energy return. Our family traveled to Florida to celebrate Justin’s sister’s wedding, and then Justin and I flew solo to Peru to make our own vows in the high Andes. It was perfect and so needed to have that time together before our lives would inevitably change again forever.

By the end of the second trimester and beginning of the third, I felt my energy and vitality crashing again. I felt similar to the first trimester in that I couldn’t function very well and needed lots of rest after short bursts of activity.

At a midwife appointment, I did a routine blood test to see where my levels were at and found out my ferritin (iron stores) was extremely low at a 4. This can happen during pregnancy because our blood volume increases so much, while iron is also being used to support the baby. Per my midwife’s recommendation, I started supplementing with iron pills, increased my intake of iron-rich foods, and even had an iron infusion (it was that serious).

Within a few weeks, I felt my energy greatly return, which was a huge relief. At my next test, I found out I had increased my ferritin to 17, which is in a healthy range for birth.

At 35 weeks, I took a solo trip up to Southern Oregon for two weeks to go to Spirit Weavers and sell clothing. I was so nervous about this big mission, as many people were telling me it would be “too much.” However, it couldn’t have been more of the opposite. I felt so recharged and renewed from the experience and came home feeling ready to nest!

So we did some major upgrades to our home, including giving Lyra her own big-girl room, which felt massive for our family. I had an intimate blessing with girlfriends in our home to energetically welcome baby girl.

And then we waited….

The Portal

When 40 weeks came along, I was sure she would be coming any day. But then it became 41 weeks…and then rearing 42 weeks still no signs of labor.

At this point, my mom had even arrived from the East Coast, honoring her plans to support me postpartum. As the days went by, I could feel my anxiety levels rising. It didn’t help that we were also experiencing a heat wave with 100-degree temperatures, and I was SO uncomfortable and swollen in my body.

I could feel the people around me becoming uncomfortable as the days went on. Family members wondering when it was going to happen, and what felt like everyone looking at me as though I had the power to birth this baby at any moment I chose. It was very taxing mentally to stay strong and composed.

Another thing creeping up was our 42-week cutoff with our beloved midwife. Due to laws in California, her license prohibits her from attending births after 42 weeks. We began talking about our options for hopefully “coaxing” baby out before then; otherwise, we would be going to the hospital as I did not feel comfortable having a free birth.

The first thing we tried was a membrane sweep and castor oil pills. Afterwards, I felt some contractions, but mostly I felt super nauseous. It was pretty horrible, actually, and I decided I never wanted to try castor oil again. Next I tried two acupuncture sessions with a beloved woman named Amy in town.

A few days later and still no baby, we were getting really close to the cutoff. My midwife recommended we try a medicine called misoprostol, using an extremely low dose vaginally every 4–6 hours for up to 24 hours. The hope was that it would help encourage my body toward active labor. In my midwife’s experience, it had been 100% effective with just 3 doses.

Well…. 24 hours later and nothing!

I went back to my midwife in the morning, and she offered to try one more dose and another membrane sweep. During our meeting, I began feeling contractions every five minutes, and we all thought, This could be it! :)

However, time was definitely ticking, as we only had until midnight that night for the baby to be born at home.

During this time I started thinking, What if there is something wrong? What if there’s a reason this baby doesn’t want to come out? At 42 weeks, there were things we simply couldn’t fully assess from my midwife’s office, so when I voiced those fears, she recommended we go to the hospital just to check everything out.

It was my first time ever going to a labor and delivery room, and I was pleasantly surprised by how friendly everyone was. They checked baby, and everything looked totally fine and normal.

But I think the real reason we went was for me to finally surrender to the idea that I might be birthing there after all.

My midwife also recommended that we encourage my mom to keep her plans of attending a wedding in Tahoe and find something for Lyra to do so Justin and I could focus and have the space to ourselves.

When we returned home from the hospital to our empty house, contractions continued every five minutes or so, but they weren’t progressing. Justin and I went for a walk, I rested, and I honestly just took a deep exhale.

I surrendered to however this baby needed to come through and trusted deeply in the path to get there.

Around 6 p.m., my midwife suggested one last effort: breaking my waters to see if it would help things progress. I weighed this decision greatly because once my waters were open, there was a new timeline and increased concern about infection if labor didn’t progress. It meant accepting that if baby didn’t come at home, we would likely be going to the hospital.

I also considered that they would probably break my waters at the hospital anyway, and decided I wanted my midwife whom I deeply trust to do it while I was comfortable in my own bed, in my own home.

Mackenzie, my midwife, came over around 7. We talked through our options and then decided to move forward with breaking my waters.

Before she did it, I remember looking at her and saying that I was grieving a bit. Grieving having to try to “force” this baby out. She reassured me to my deepest soul, telling me I was doing everything I could to keep this baby and myself safe, and reminding me that birth doesn’t always go the way we imagine or predict.

Once my waters were open, I remember hugging Justin and just crying.

I felt this immense sense of release in my body.

I sat on my birthing ball, and the contractions immediately began to feel more intense. My midwife said she was going to go home, shower, reset, and that we should call her if things progressed.

Justin lit the candles on our birth altar and put on our birth playlist. He looked at me and said, “We are going to have this baby right now, at home.”

In that moment, I knew in my soul that it was true.

And I surrendered.

I let go.

I growled into my contractions, inviting them to come stronger and stronger. I said yes to each rising wave flowing into my body.

I was ready to meet my girl.

Things progressed surprisingly fast. I only had time to try two different places and positions, but found that leaning over my daughter’s Nugget couch with Justin’s hand counter-pressing on my back was the most comforting as things intensified. I also had an electrolyte lollipop in my mouth, which was soooo helpful!

Within an hour of the contractions intensifying, I felt the same sensation of my body pushing that I had felt with Lyra.

And all of a sudden, I called out, “I’m pushing!!!”

My midwife was scrambling to get back to our home in time (very familiar to Lyra’s birth) but I remember hearing her voice on the phone telling me to keep inviting the contractions in and to keep saying yes.

As she walked through the door, Eden’s head was beginning to crown.

I remember trying to slow down and gently ease her out instead of forcing her quickly to avoid tearing. And so, with each push, she came a little bit more.

Until her whole body was outside of me and in the hands of her papa.

She did have her cord wrapped twice around her neck, but our midwife showed Justin how to gently unwrap her.

She was perfect!!

Eden Violet arrived at 9:22 p.m., 9 lbs 1 oz, less than two hours after active labor began.

I was SO relieved. I felt this sense of ultimate bliss surround me, literally. I began crying and hugging my perfect girl.

Afterwards, Mackenzie gently guided me to the bed where I birthed the placenta and then took care of literally everything. Being immediately postpartum in your own bed feels like an absolute miracle and the gentlest way to welcome a new life (and mama) into the world.

It had been my dream to have this same experience again after having Lyra, my firstborn, at home. To feel that dream come to life when we had come so close to it not happening was almost euphoric.

I am so grateful for the choices we made. For my incredible midwife holding us through this tender portal. For Justin being my rock and being there every step of the way.

And for Eden Violet, who took her sweet time choosing her moment and then flew into our arms exactly when she was ready on the lions gate 8/8.

I am walking into this next version of motherhood feeling deeply expanded, humbled, grateful and most of all full of love.